What to do, what to do...

The stress level is nearly tipping the scale to far to bear. The little things are seeming like big. And it's far too easy to send me into a panic attack. I take deep breaths and try to tell myself it won't take long for things to pass and there are better days ahead. But I also am painfully aware of things that lie ahead. It's not easier, it's more difficult.

My mom is the beginning. She had been having pain in her leg and could bearly walk. Her jaw and lip have been numb and she began loosing a pound a day, not being able to eat. Not the healthy way to loose some weight. Plus she knew something was wrong. She said she felt like she had cancer still. And she does. Bone cancer in the femur. She also has a tumor in her jaw. She has been undergoing radiation again. Centralized to those two areas, but she "lit up like a Christmas tree" when they did one of her many scans. So, I'm not sure what treatments or other tests are ahead for her. But we pray for her and love her.

Jack cracked his head open, requiring three visible stitches. It was deep. That happened in the parking lot trying to go to the dentist. He had a return visit only to find out that he has 5 cavities, at that return visit to fill them, lightly sedated he still wouldn't have anything to do with it and fought madly. Enough to he's rescheduled to go to Primary Children's and be completely sedated.

We also had to take Jack to the Peditrician because his school can't control his behavior. We were referred to a children's center only to find out that they don't accept patients over the age of 5. We were referred out again to another medical center linked to the U, but they said that they don't diagnose, just treat. We'll have to see someone who can diagnose the problem. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's mild. We were told possible autism (I don't believe that's what it is) ADHD (more plausible) or asburgers (spelling is mostlikely wrong.. don't think it's that either) I don't want to self diagnose, but this is just what we're dealing with currently.

Monday through thursday we had one or more doctors appointments per day. I still have to go back to get Jacks stitches removed, Duncan's teacher informed me that Duncan claims he can't see the board. Jack lost his new pair of glasses and purposely broke his old one's.

I'm with the kids 24-7 in a secluded small town, I used to occasionally text Jared when it got to be too much. Now he's working extreme over time and his phone won't hold a charge. He worked from 7 am to 2 am yesterday through today. And went back in 7 am this morning and will repeat through to the AM again.

I didn't know he'd be working O.T. yesterday and picked that particular day to cook the turkey dinner. He thought he'd be here tonight for dinner, so I heated the leftovers, no show. Maybe at 8pm tonight for a quick dinner. Who knows. I tease him and say he's cheating on me with Wally. (He doesn't like that, it's been awhile since I've said that.)

Then there's fighting Duncan to get into the tub. His allergist says she sometimes prescribes three baths per day for her patients. Oh my that would be impossible for us.

There is more. I've developed an eye twitch. It happens most often when i'm upset it's mostly just annoying. But it's telling me that i'm stressed. I am limited on my outlets. I would rant more about everything that's happening, but then everyone would think that I only am able to focus on the negative. There are some possitives happening now.

Duncan loves his teacher and he's funny. Duncan moved up a level finally!!! Yay Duncan. The teacher definately makes a difference. Duncan's teacher told me that he feels that Duncan finally has got how things are supposed to work and is making real progress. He's always been the most polite out of the kids.

I've been in a bit of a festive mood to make treats and things. I made a hybrid cookie dessert of my grandma's Raisin prune filled, Dad said it was good... We'll just take his word for it. Pumpkin pie for Jared and Earlier in the month cheese cake for his birthday. Chocolate chip cookies from scratch. And of course sugar cookies. Now I want to make fudge and possibly some kind of toffee. I think I'm putting off finishing the front room though with my crafts and cooking.

I have a long Daddy do list, so if he can accomplish some of the things on the list, that may help. But with all this working it doesn't look so promising. Sigh. I don't want to wash the dog. Maybe I'll check into how expensive it is to take her in and get a professional cleaning. Then I won't want her to go outside, we need a dog run.

This is getting much more random, so I'll end it now. We're hanging in there. A bit stressed, but doing okay. I hope everyone is having a less stressed or at least festive holiday season!